Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Witz Pickz Solar Fan Vents

Lemme guess: nine times out of ten, you're not going to associate the sun with wind. Am I right? Of course I am. Haha. You idiot. The sun and wind are rarely associated with each other(unless you're some kind of wacky scientist who believes that light has a physical effect on things...which I don't see in The Bible), but a brilliant new (or old some say) invention is bringing the two together. The Solar Fan Vent. The solar fan vent cools your car while it's parked. The fan simply clasps onto the top of your window, which you then close. While you're off buying your capri pants and frappacinos, the solar fan vent uses solar power to replace the hot air inside your car with cooler air outside. This is an amazing invention. This is the invention that everyone could use if they had access to it and it is an invention that should have won American Inventor instead of the "spherical safety seat" (not catchy at all) that DOESN'T EVEN WORK YET. What happens when you forget your kid in their Heat Bubble Baby Death Trap? THEY DIE. The solar fan vent would prevent said death, and go one step further by providing comfort-- and life.

The best part about the solar fan vent, however, is the shear glorious victory of it. The Sun has been battling us for years, whether we want to acknowledge it or not. The Sun has big plans for us in its future. The Sun got the Aztecs to worship it. A movie was made named "Empire of THE SUN." The clues are all around us. The solar powered fan vent is the first step in fighting back against The Sun. "How?" you ask? Ha. I told you that you were an idiot. Irony. That's how. The solar fan vent uses THE SUN'S OWN ENERGY to power a fan vent which cools down your car which has heated up BECAUSE OF THE ENERGY FROM THE SUN! This vicious cycle will serve to not only cool our cars, but raggedly annoy and frustrate The Sun, most likely resulting in fervent masturbation by The Sun which will do nothing to divert the knowledge that Earth is FIGHTING BACK. Because we are fighting back-- one slightly cooler sedan at a time.


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