Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Witz DOESN'T PICK: "Are You On The List?" ...More Heroes Frustration

The new "Heroes" slogan is "Are you on the list?". The chearleader has been saved, so that bit's out, and now a list has been discovered. But look-- "Save the chearleader, save the world" was bad enough, because it wasn't cryptic, it was just prevalent. ARE YOU ON THE LIST IS borderline ridiculous. What they mean is, "Are you gonna watch out show for christ's sake, I mean you've been into it this far right so why not keep going even though we can't act, speak, move the plot forward at a manageable pace or provide a shorter mid-season break." That must be what they mean, because I'm not a betting man (well, since the new laws prohibiting online gambling that is...and excluding the NFL Survivor Pool I was just a part of...), but I would be willing to wager everything I own that I am, in fact, NOT on the list. And here's why:


Simple, really, but apparently overlooked by the marketing department. The fact that I live here, watching said television program, should automatically limit my ability to be a character on the television. I'm pretty sure Stephen Hawking wrote about this. If I'm "on the list" I better damn well know about it via a phone call, contract, bank deposit, and probably days of grueling acting with Peter Petrelli or the Suggest-You-Do-Something chick who may or may not have helped the kid who stole baseball cards on Prison Break flee. That is, unless somebody rufees-ed me, brought me to the studio, got me to act (hopefully with my special power not being "takin' it in the butt") and then returned me to my home whispering gleefully (he's gonna love this surprise-- best birthday gift EVER!).

So no, I don't expect to be on the list. Heroes. But I still might watch your damn show.

Are You In the Group?

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