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Friday, January 30, 2009

Witz Pickz: Friday Grab Bag (aka Witz Slides Closer to Hell)

I let The Deaflympics simmer for a little while and you know what? Nothing but positive results! I was sure someone was going to get upset or write a hate letter, but it turns out that a) I don't have that many people reading this blog b) people don't care all that much about deaf people and c) deaf people can't hear all the buzz about Witz Pickz! Here's a whole bunch of randomness to end the week:

Vitamin Water:
I've become addicted to this stuff. I'm not one of those people who hates regular water (as noted in one of my way earlier posts), but I am one of those people who feels the need to try and take control of a seemingly uncontrollable situation by taking action-- be it cleaning my room when my life is chaotic or taking vitamins to try and stave off an inevitable cold. What Vitamin Water has that other vitamin and fluid products don't have is the power of 50 Cent. Vitamin Water is in direct competition with Life Water which chooses to give package deals instead of individual vitamins (Immunity vs. Vitamin C). But Life Water was never shot up. Vitamin water has street cred and so now I do too. If someone asks me if I've ever sold hit rap albums, performed in front of millions of people, and been shot repeatedly, I now feel comfortable answering, "Kind of." Also, Safeway inexplicably has them permanently on sale for 10/$10. So that helps...


Repeated Rapes:
Witz DOESN'T pick rapists. I'd like to say that one up front. Witz also DOESN'T pick repeated raping (for the obvious reasons and because I'm not a big fan of marathons-- I think running a full marathon is too far, I think CSI and Psych marathons on tv are unnecessary). HOWEVER, I've been reading news articles such as THIS ARTICLE where a 12 year old boy was "raped repeatedly" by a 19 year old he met on xbox live. First of all, the 12 year old apparently invited this guy he met on xbox live to come stay with him for a while-- I don't know where the parents were at, but isn't 90% of the point of xbox live so you don't put yourself in a position to be shot, stabbed, or raped by your competitor? All I'm saying is that the 19 year old probably lost a lot of games to this kid. And why does the media always have to assume that video games cause violence and now rape? I lose to Nitro regularly in FIFA 09 and you know what-- I haven't raped him. Call me a hero. As Nitro so eloquently put is:

"I hate how there's an almost universally accepted notion that people that play video games are dangerous and maladjusted. It's like saying anyone that plays Pogs will fuck your mouth while you sleep."

Anyway, back to my "raped repeatedly" post....yikes: Between the video game kid, the Austrian guy with the creepiest basement ever, and numerous other incidents, it's gotten to the point where if I read an article that someone was raped, but not raped REPEATEDLY, I wonder why the rapist was so lazy. Is there an undiagnosed case of ADD involved? Did the rapist get distracted by a House marathon? If the rapist was distracted by a Friday Night Lights marathon, then I think that counts as an automatic bid for another season. That's how shows should judge if they stay on tv-- would a rapist choose your show over more raping? Welcome back, Arrested Development! Sorry, Private Practice. You barely slipped by Top Chef-- Super Bowl episode my ass...

Flowers, Puppies, Ice Cream, Philanthropy:
Gotta off-set that rape post somehow! I'm WAAAAY INTO THE AFOREMENTIONED THINGS! Flowers let us know a forgiving God who forgives things like making fun of deafness and rape exists (P.S. way to create deafness and rape God...maybe Sunday would have been a good "checking your work" day, huh?). Puppies are like, awesome, right? Ice Cream-- well, that's just the bomb, and how lucky are we that we now have dairy free ice cream for our lactose and dairy intolerant friends? Right?? Wow, we sure have come a long way. Philanthropy is awesome. I'm a huge fan. I'm also able to receive cash, checks, and paypal donations. Coincidence? Doubtful. After all, SOMEBODY needs to fuel my Vitamin Water addiction.

And They Never Spoke of it Again...,
Witz

2 comments:

Dave B. said...

Two Words:
Refractory Period

IrishGal said...

I recently got a new dentist, and it turns out their office gives you a Vitamin Water and a magazine while you're waiting. Kinda like a spa, except they also drill teeth.