Witz Pickz: Lost Returns and Other News

The over-extended, oft frustrating, vaguely enjoyable and yet hugely addicting show Lost comes back on tonight for a new season. I'm not sure how I feel about it, since there is a really good chance that they won't be able to have a full season due to the WGA strike. They haven't had a legit full season it feels like in a while, and the last time they ran a short season it was HORRIBLE. I don't know what they have planned, but a short season will only be made worse by the fact that I am more Lost than ever. I don't know about you (people who watch), but I don't remember what the hell is going on AT ALL. They're on an island. Time travel may or may not have taken place. Charlie may or may not be dead? Is that it? I can't remember anything else, and I don't really remember how those parts fit together. So they're gonna have a lot of work on their hands trying to remind everyone what the hell is up and then present a shortened season for us to watch. It's almost predestined to suck, but I'll be there watching.

On the House front, House appears to be back for a few episodes (four I believe). I'm psyched because unlike FNL, Lost, and other extended plot related shows, House can be viewed independently and fully loved and appreciated. I taped the first episode and am psyched to see it.

Which reminds me: I'm a little tired of hearing this-- "Oh man, I want to watch two shows at the same time, but I don't have TiVo!" or "God, I wish I had TiVo, the _____ is on at 8pm, but I have to go to this thing!" Geez, if only there was a device OTHER than a DVR that could record television while you were watching television or that you could program to have record later. Maybe they invented something like this back in the 80's? Is it called a Beta Max Player? No, that doesn't sound quite right...what's it? OH! It's a freakin' VCR. With VHS tapes. Which is like FIVE FRIGGEN DOLLARS AT EVERY GOODWILL OR SALVATION ARMY. I actually held onto my VCR even after DVD's got big for this very reason. And when people tell me they need to record five things at the same exact time and only DVR can do it, I say that they're right, but maybe they don't actually need to watch all of that prime time television. OR you can go online and get most shows these days. Check these links out:

Show-Links.Tv
Sidereel.com
alluc.org

Glory.


Dirt: (on DVD and those links)
Starring Courtney Cox as gossip magazine editor slash actress desperate to escape her role on Friends, I can't get a grasp on if this show is actually good or pretty horrendous, but with some good aspects. The magazine aspect is not particularly interesting and they hit on just about every cliche out there. It's tough to like them even when you're supposed to because they are ruining people's lives (even though you have to realize that these people PLACE themselves in a position to get their lives ruined, but still), and while the information and Hollywood/Magazine dynamic is interesting and well done at times in the show, the characters are not particularly likeable or enjoyable. One of the major plotlines is boring as all hell and I was shocked that it was still around at the end of the season.

The one positive aspect of the show (and the one that got me to continue watching) is the character of Don Konkey, a schizophrenic photographer who grew up with Lucy Spiller (Courtney Cox). He is a great photographer and knows a cover shot when he sees one. He understands that a photo is just a photo without a story-- and he finds the stories with his camera. He also sees dead people, manifests his past, and loves cats. He wears a hat all the time and he speaks a bit like I imagine Lenny spoke in Of Mice and Men. All these details make him interesting and appealing, and the acting is really really good. Definitely check this out on your Netflix or Blockbuster Online or some other free form, and let me know what you think.

HU$TLE: Just an update-- season three is just as good as the first two seasons. All 3 seasons are just 4 DVD's and the writing is really good and the characters enjoyable. It's often predictable, but they keep you guessing and mix up the formula quite a bit.

You Can't TiVo This,
Witz

Witz Pickz: Weekend Prep Pickz

It’s Thursday already, which is tremendous and rewarding, and after you all listen to my radio show live or checkout the podcast tomorrow, you’ll need some things to do. So here is a little pick-nic, a grab bag, a survival kit, if you will, of things to make your weekend better (or to avoid in order to keep your weekend at a high functioning level).

HU$TLE: TV is dead and you need a show to kill some time during the long, non-football hours of this weekend. Well, I suggest checking out Hustle, a BBC show from the makers of MI-5. Hustle cleverly spells it’s name with a money sign to let you know that a) there’s money involved b) the show is clever and c) not all is as it seems. The show is about a bunch of British grifters and if you’re anything like me, you love a good long con. Or short con. Cons are really enjoyable for me—not the kind that’ll punch you in the face and take your…respect…but the other definition that tricks people into giving you money. Lila from Dexter is in it which is interesting, as are some other vaguely recognizable British actors. Considering the BBC’s history of cheesy production, it’s very well done, well written, and only a couple DVD’s per season. It’s just the type of show Murs* would like.

Colgate Max Fresh Toothpaste: This toothpaste is like Hustle because they con you into thinking its more effective than other toothpaste. In fact, I’m pretty sure MOST toothpastes do this, and I really don’t believe that any one toothpaste is better at freshness than any other. The FLAVORS? YES. The effectiveness of freshness? No. The hook with this brand is that they have mini-breath strips IN the toothpaste. These are little squares like the Listerine fresh breath strips that are actually inside the gel like fruit stuck in jell-o. When you brush your teeth, they allegedly go and get their fresh on. In actuality, if you don’t brush for more than 5 minutes, you end up spitting out a whole slew of mini-breath strips. Hoax. HOWEVER, this toothpaste wins a pick because of its name. Max Fresh sounds like the name of a G-Funk Era Porn Star. Max Fresh would “get his clean on for the ladies.” Max Fresh would “get his test on for the HIV and STD’s.” Max Fresh would “do kinky shit if the gig paid,” and would definitely, “do whatever was necessary for a quality money shot.” Max Fresh takes his profession seriously. Max Fresh would like to have been a B-Boy, but got caught up in the porn game and never looked back. When girls on the set brush their teeth after a long day at work, they use Colgate brand Max Fresh Toothpaste.

Gordon Biersch Winter Hook Beer: I hit up the Gordon Biersch Brewery this weekend for the first time in San Francisco and was immediately greeted by Thatch, a waiter whose name so obviously speaks for his personality that I was overwhelmed with his cool. Thatch didn’t give much of a shit about classic waiter/patron rapport and started dropping serious knowledge on us. He assumed we’d been there before and we hadn’t, so Thatch asked if we wanted the beer sampler for free. I kind of assumed he said, “I’m going to give you a free beer sampler because who doesn’t want that,” so I waited a few seconds before realizing it was a question and answered, “Yes.” We were then brought an assortment of eight beers in shot glass sized samplers. He then went into describing each beer as if we’d never heard of beer before, which was actually kind of amusing. He showed us the Blonde Ale, the Pilsner, the stout, the Heffeweizen, and couple others before getting to the seasonal. He described one of them as being, “medium hops, medium flavor, medium body, medium alcohol content, and medium calories.” I promptly quipped, “…And it’s just ok….” To which Thatch stared at me as if to say, “Oh, I get it, you’re the ‘funny guy.’ Does that work with the ladies, ‘cause I’m the Cool Guy, and before you ask, Yes, It Does.” I couldn’t even hate him for it. Thatch WAS cool. He eventually got to the Seasonal Brew and told us it was his favorite. It was the most flavorful, the highest alcohol content, the best taste, and only around for a little while longer. He so oversold it that I felt like a chump when I finally told him that I wanted it. And it WAS delicious. And it WAS high in alcohol. And it WAS worth my money. So if you’re looking for a beer this weekend, I suggest the Gordon Biersch Winter Hook.

No One Belongs Here More Than You: Miranda July:
This might be kind of a downer of a book, but if it’s rainy this weekend and you just wanna curl up with a book and read, I very much pick this book of short stories. Miranda July is the performance artist who wrote and starred in Me, and You, and Everyone We Know, and some of the same themes of loneliness and human connectedness of that film are present in her book. Clever, poignant, sadly amusing, and often overly sexual, Miranda July manages to blend a number of stories together through her strong tone and appealing voice. It’s like dark humor that’s meant to be taken seriously and is. Also, it’s only 200 pages and a fast read, so it’s a one or two day-er if you’re into it. Enjoy.

TGI Almost F,
Witz

*H-U-S-T-L-E hustler.