Sunday, March 26, 2006

Witz's Very First Pick

These pickz can be about anything, and will most likely range from movies, to music, to food, to noises I've heard that make me laugh. There's no innate betterness about any of the pickz. Weazing Laugh Janitor at my work is equally picked as the Sacajawea Dollar. So without any extra importance, my first online pickz (old Witz Pickz can be found at The Bates Student newspaper)are as follows:

"Hockey Monkey" by The Zambonis:
There are very few songs about monkeys who play hockey, and only one movie made on the subject (MVP), but Hockey Monkey is one of those songs. Played by a band who only write songs about hockey, Hockey Monkey truly captures the essence of how awesome it would be if a monkey played hockey. It captures the chaotic nature of the lab the monkeys escaped from ("All the scientists are running around, looking for the monkey, but he can't be found, 'cause he's down on the pond playing hockey with the kids...") as well as how a lot of kids would probably skip out on homework to be, "playing hockey with the monkey." I was reminded of this song recently because it is apparently the new theme song for the Fox television series "The Loop,"which is a show starring one of the guys from Dumb and Dumberer (Witz Doesn't Pick) about working in corporate airline offices? Al...right...well, i'm just happy The Zambonis are making some cash now that hockey is pulling in literally tens of fans a night in the US. They might be the one band ever that will soon be referred to as "Big in Canada."

The NHL:
In the same vein, I strongly endorse the new and improved NHL. While league contraction is desperately needed, the new rules have made the sport faster, more exciting, higher scoring, and rewards puck skills and quick skating. The fights are still fun to watch and you can finally tell people that have added OLN to your list of channels you watch (What does OLN stand for? I always just say the Outdoors Network, but where's the L? Witz Pickz silent L). While a number of old favorites have moved on (Mario Lemieux, Pavel Bure, Ron Francis), youth has sped up the game, and you can still watch mainstays like Jaromir Jagr play head to head against new heroes like Sidney Crosby.

Suave Shampoo For Men:
Finding a good shampoo as a guy is tough. 95% of any shampoo shelf is geared towards women, and the other 5% is dominated mostly by Axe and Axe related products. Between Axe and Garnier Fructis are your Vive somethings, Herbal Essences, and a number of other ambiguously bisexual products (although I heard Paul Mitchell and Tressieme are totally for show and he's really all about Axe, whose into it, but still calls Paul Mitchell gay when he's with his friends). For a while I rocked Crew and was very happy with that choice. Once the real world hit, however, Crew suddenly became the rich man's 'poo, and I needed an alternative. Sure, Rite-Aid brand did the trick, but I needed a shampoo with some more zip. Some zazz, but at those low-low generic brand prices. That's when I found Suave Shampoo For Men in my local grocery outlet which is cleverly entitled "Grocery Outlet." The bottle was navy blue. Check. Says, "for men" on it. Check. It also smells good, but it could have smelled like Tim Allen's career after The Shaggy Dog and I still would have bought it, 'cause it was a buck. ONE DOLLAR! And ya know what? It's awesome. I bought another bottle at a regular store for two-bucks and I'm not lookin' back. I think I might even be getting suave-ier...

Witz Has Picked,

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