Thursday, March 06, 2008

Witz Pickz: Suspense, Pointing, Comp USA, and MORE

"Working hard or hardly working?" is usually a rhetorical question posed by a douchebag when people say it to me. They know I'm not doin' much, and that with the baseball season starting up, I've got Excel spreadsheets in the forefront and the Red Sox vs. Dodgers game on in the background. These last three days, however, that little saying got flipped around on me and I've been overwhelmed with work. When I got home late each night, I needed some quality time with Gregory House, MD, and picking just wasn't going to happen. So I apologize for the lack of posts these last few days, but I also think it provides a glorious opportunity, because nobody wanted the 200th Pick to be on a Monday or a Wednesday-- they wanted it on a Friday. The day of closure. Of finality and rebirth. The Freakin' Weekend.

So today I give you the 199th Pick. It's a slew of things I've been thinking about during the craziness and hopefully tomorrow I'll have something astounding and celebratory for you-- EPIC is what I'm going thinking. Like, Free Burritos For Life EPIC.

When I was younger, I remember everyone getting worked up about pointing and how pointing was bad. It was RUDE my parents told me, and I wasn't supposed to do it. Thinking about it now, I feel like pointing is entirely necessary. There are just too many unknowns in this world and showing somewhat where "OVER THERE" is or who "THAT PERSON" is just needs a little gesticulation. Is pointing rude anymore? I do it while working events, showing people around, telling them what to do next. But I still feel uncomfortable when someone says, "Look at that" and points. Like it's either rude, touristy, or uncouth. And yet I know it's not-- these people aren't saying, "Look at that FREAK" and pointing, they're saying, "Look at that restaurant, sign, tree, or bird." Unfortunately, sometimes restaurants, signs, trees, and birds are close in proximity to freaks, and maybe that's why the pointing is a problem. We're all worried that freaks know they're freaks, and therefore will assume we're pointing at them. Maybe the pointing isn't the real problem.

In fact, the more I think about it, I think people told us that pointing was rude when we were little because WE WERE LITTLE. We were too young to have that social filter, so if we saw someone with one arm, with a patch on one eye, with no teeth, or morbid obesity, I bet we would have pointed at them to alert our parents to the abnormality. I bet I would have caused my parents a whole lot of embarassment if I'd pointed at the first black person I saw in my upper-middle class oh-so-white town. "Mommy, mommy, look, it's DIVERSITY!" I'd have my hand slapped away and told, "Pointing is rude." I think pointing has been getting a terrible rap all these years, and has been the scapegoat for millions upon millions of children's honest view of the world. Bring pointing back.

Comp USA:
I walked past a Comp USA this weekend and was ASTOUNDED that the company still existed. Now, I can't imagine a single time in my life when I would decide I needed to go to a Comp USA, and for that reason, I am totally picking it. Any company that can somehow outlast obsolescence is alright by me. With Staples and, Office Max, and a million other internet sites that sell office and computer supplies, the ghetto-tastic Comp USA can't even claim to be superior to Frye's Electronics and Frye's makes an inner city garage sale look like a Best Buy. So congratulations Comp USA, because you're probably a front for something massively illegal and I'm not planning on stepping in the way of anything like that.

House Count:
Thanks to watching more and more episodes of House, I have been able to sound credible in four, count em, FOUR more conversations involving medical stuff. Just today, someone mentioned pancreatic cancer and I was able to say, "That's a really painful type of cancer, too," and everyone believed me and nodded while I thought, "now where did I know that from..." and then BAM! I remembered-- HOUSE. I figure they have to have at least the base level of their knowledge correct, so while the crazy shit that happens in the middle and end might not be quite medically true, I bet the stuff like, "these symptoms are usually associated with X" are probably true. So the House Count is +4.

Is starting up again. Nothing is sweeter than watching your team start off a game winning and then lose by 10 because they put in all their young players for the 6-9th innings. Spring training is sweet. MLB.TV is pretty sweet, too, and if you wanna watch baseball wherever you are, including the scenario at the beginning of this post, then the 120 bucks is well worth it (How bout dem book-ends)

Run Home Jack,

1 comment:

MF Jim said...

I want to meet the asshole who would have responded "actually no, pancreatic cancer isn't that bad."