Witz Pickz: Endless Hours In Front of the TV to Avoid the Real Everyday World

Here is my Fall lineup of shows to watch:

MONDAY:

Prison Break: 8pm on Fox

Here's the thing-- I pick the first season of Prison Break because with such a thin, lame sounding plotline, it managed to be extremely interesting because the question was, "what did he have planned to get through this problem and how is he going to adjust that plan now that something is going wrong?" While Michael Scofield (the main character) has only two acting faces (I'm a quiet genius and I'm totally fucked), and while any other emotion or face he tries to show looks absolutely insane, he is an enjoyable lead character to follow. Unfortunately, the second season is Prison Broke-- they are out of jail and running around the US. This is no longer very interesting because the show is no longer contained and based around his plan, it's just another show about escaped convicts you empathize with trying not to get caught. They removed the one aspect of Prison Break which made it worth watching.

Heroes: 9pm on NBC

What sounded like a poor attempt by a major network to make a show similar to X-Men, The 4400, or another superhero show is actually really really good. There are about seven main characters running around either with powers, learning about powers, or trying to catch those with powers.

There is the guy who can fly, but is unable to stop looking like Jason Schwartzman. His brother, the candidate for Congress (political and sexual)who can also fly, but mostly thinks it won't help his candidacy (Despite the fact that nearly everyone in the world would say "I wish I could fly" he would much rather get really involved in red tape bureaocracy). Then there's the girl who has a mirror double personality that usually kills or beats up people, but is still unable to kill or escape the fact that she's the whipped cream chick from Varsity Blues. Ya got your super-chearleader girl who can't die and doesn't want to be a freak-- oh and she's hot. That's kinda her thing too. There's a cop who can read minds, but also might be dead, so I don't know; an Indian scientist whose father was exploring possible superpowers in humans and died because of it (he's fun except that every time I see him I wonder when he's getting on the plane from Sydney to LA...yeah, that's a Lost reference); an evil supervillain named Sieler or Sielert or something-- they never made it clear if there's a "t" involved. And finally, there is the nerdy Asian guy who can traverse time and space and even has a "timeout" power like Zak Morris that he can use to stop time and cheat at casinos.

The storyline is extremely well done and interwoven and while some plotlines are more interesting than others, they all are ultimately leading towards one resolution. That being said, the problem with Heroes is that there are seven or so main characters! An hour long show is not nearly enough to give a sense of advancement each week when there are so many characters and stories trying to move forward. It ends up being about 1 plot point per character, which is extremely slow moving. Still, it's definitely a show worth watching and has the feel that a well planned out story exudes.

Studio 60: 10pm on NBC

Ok, I don't know. Aaron Sorkin is brilliant and the pilot episode of this show inspired me beyond belief and got a "best pilot ever...even better than Six Feet Under" rave from numerous friends of mine-- HOWEVER, in subsequent weeks, the urgency or immediacy of the show has dissipated. The show is set behind-the-scenes at an SNL like sketch comedy show (The West Wing, Sports Night style), and has the same Sorkin feel of his two previous shows. The problem is twofold...I guess that means they are problemS. The first problem is that coming off of a show about The West Wing and politics and world problems makes it very difficult to care about the similarly styled happenings of a sketch comedy show. Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford are brilliant, and Amanda Peet manages to be likeable and not bad at all, but it just doesn't carry the same gravitas. The second and I would argue, bigger, problem with the show is that they don't show the part of the show you end up wanting to see-- the actual FUNNY, EDGY SKETCH SHOW. With SNL eating it week after month after year, Studio 60 claims to be a hilarious better version of SNL but we never see the actual proof or fruit of the episodes. An entire episode might talk about the political wit and hilarity surrounding a controversial skit, but then we NEVER GET TO SEE THE SKIT. In addition, the skits they have shown AREN'T FUNNY and while the audience may laugh in the show, and while the characters all act like they pulled something off, I KNOW THEY DIDN'T! That's the problem. You can't talk about funny and then not deliver funny. It's not a flaw with the show so much as the premise or possibly just me, but it's a big problem in the long run.

TUESDAY: (are you serious, all of that was just monday???)

Friday Night Lights: 8pm on NBC

Unfathomably good. For a tv show about football which was already an incredible movie, I am shocked by how good Friday Night Lights is. I should have known it was going to be great though since the guy from Morning Edition is the coach and probably knew ahead of time via that cat newspaper that it would be a hit or else he wouldn't have taken the job. Anyway, the show is exactly what you'd expect, diving into high school football culture, the players as people, high school drama, and the power of sports. If you've ever played a sport that you can't play anymore, or miss playing, the show and movie, with the help of Explosions In the Sky (soundtrack) will have you getting a little choked up.

House: 9pm on Fox

Everyone knows what House is. Dr. solves medical mysteries like Sherlock Holmes solves regular mysteries. It's good.

Veronica Mars: 9pm on The NEW CW

I dunno how it happened either, but someone at some point suckered me into watching Veronica Mars (there were promises of food involved) and I got into it. It's entirely about the banter/dialogue for me, but the mysteries are kinda good too (she solves regular mysteries the way House solves medical mysteries).

WEDNESDAY:

30 Rock: 8pm on NBC

I'm not sure how anyone managed to pitch another behind the scenes at an snl like sketch show idea to NBC and have it pass, but I'm glad it did. NBC now has the most confusing 3 related shows on television. One failing sketch comedy show (SNL) and then two shows about better sketch comedy shows. Somehow this has made SNL try harder to be good and actually end up being worse from what I've seen. 30 Rock is the newest of the three and stars Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan (as Tracy Jordan), and Alec Baldwin who ironically has been on SNL more times than anyone else...well besides Tracy Morgan...and Tina Fey also is from SNL...i'm telling you, it's awkward. OH YEAH, and the show...yeah, it's produced by LORNE FUCKING MICHAELS. I have no idea how this happened. BUT i'm glad it did as I said before, because it's absolutely hilarious from the one episode I have seen (and aired). All the parts of Mean Girls that were funny (Anphernee bit, etc) are brought to the show by Tina Fey and with the always hilarious delivery of Tracy Morgan (playing an insane megastar), the show is going to be very very funny. They might even be on TBS someday because TBS knows funny...or at least Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Lost: 9pm ABC

Yeah, I mean, it's Lost, you guys have heard of that...so, like, watch it...from the beginning...because it's great.

THURSDAY:

The Office (US): 8:30pm on NBC

Apparently NBC owns me and by my count if they don't smash all competition in the ratings, I'll be shocked. Anyway, The Office has fully developed into its own and the third season promises to be great although it did look like Steve Carrell had his fingers crossed. The season premier was hit or miss with viewers, but I thought it was brilliant and definitely worth checking out. You guys know The Office.

FRIDAY:

Battlestar Galactica: 9pm Sci-Fi

I know right, like I got into Battlestar Galactica despite my time harassing my friends who watched it and it's simply because I watched it once and now I need to know what happens. Season three just started and it's the easiest show in the world to download or get on DVD so you should just do that. The plot is that people are in space and worlds and Cylons (robot people) who look the same and God told them to destroy people...BUT ITS GOOD. Also, the language has made it's way into other shows now (I caught a Cylons reference on THe Daily Show and Veronica Mars used "Frack" so they could swear. Very interesting time in television.

SATURDAY: 8-10pm

Why are you watching television on a saturday? THere's NOTHING on! Go drink or play sports or watch a movie-- possibly one that that always enjoyable and fiendishly clever Witz has picked!

SUNDAY: ALL DAY

Remember when you watched Friday Night Lights? Remember the football part? Yeah, watch that, it's all consuming.



And on the 8th Day God Created CSI: Galactica...but then scrapped the day because it wasn't as good as CSI: Miami. Now the 8th Day exists in the 4th Dimension and is known as "the premium channels." The shows on the 8th Day are:

Entourage: Sometime on HBO

Amazing show as previously discussed on this website. It's like a shot of pleasure followed by the realization that you just wasted half an hour.

Weeds: Sometime on Showtime...which really isn't a channel in existence

WEEDS ISN"T GOOD. THERE I SAID IT. IT'S NOT FUNNY. IT HAS MOMENTS BUT IS NOT BRILLIANT. More people like this show than just smokers, so I really don't get it, but I also don't get why I keep going through many hoops in order to acquire the episodes and watch them only to say, "Meh, that was totally mediocre."

The 4400: On USA but who watches shows on the USA Network? It's reserved exclusively for Chuck Norris and Pacific Blue.

Show like Heroes only worse. People disappeared, then came back and now have trouble acting...I mean have superpowers. The story is midlly interesting but it's not nearly as good as any of your friends who like it would have you believe.

Huff: I don't know where this show exists

BUT it's really enjoyable from the few episodes I saw. Check it out on DVD because Hank Azaria is more than just Moe from the Simpsons.

So that's what I got. Watch those shows, c'mon, do it. Don't watch Grey's Anatomy, it's stupid and you're uglier for it,


Witz