Witz Pickz: The Cob, Bitter:sweet, Kingdom Come

A few pickz to keep July groovin':

Corn on the Cob: Corn is a tasty, useful food that we've been eating for thousands of years. Some people prefer maize, but to them I say "Corn IS Maize!" But while corn gets all the good hype, The Cob gets nothing, and yet, no kind of corn is better than corn ON THE COB (except for candy corn, but that shit isn't natural-- it's baked by easter bunnies in the base of a subterranean mountain in South Dakota). Corn just tastes better on the cob. Now maybe this is because it's fresh or in season, but let us not dismiss the cob so quickly. Who are we to say that the cob and eating corn off of the cob is not the reason why corn on the cob tastes so good? NOBODY! WE ARE NOBODY! Give the cob its due.

Bitter:sweet: Do you enjoy Lily Allen? If you do, then have some more-- this time she's called Bitter:sweet and is a band from southern California. Same sound, different people, and from the myspace songs I've heard, such as Dirty Laundry, quite enjoyable. Clearly, however, there is the question of the : in the name. Some people might say that it's the divider between categorical opposites-- an analogy between the bitter and the sweet, as the music they create. But I think it's a typo that they didn't catch and are now stuck with. I mean c'mon, a collon? Who does that? It's almost too easy to accidentally hit "shift ;" after typing an "r" that I don't see how anyone could think anything else. Do you honestly even think the semi-collon existed before somebody with poor handwriting got lazy on the bottom "."? Not a chance. Did you know that a "?" does not actually mean "to inquisite", but rather, "I am not sure of my exclamating!?" it's like a spork in that respect. Is what I'm saying true? I dunno, do you take your grammatical and punctuational directives from Witz Pickz now? I would think not. If you answered "Yes," maybe it's time for you to re-examine your life and see where you might improve it; possibly while listening to Bitter:sweet.

Jay-Z's Kingdom Come: It's a bit after the fact, but I finally sat down and straight up LISTENED to Jay-Z's new album-- the one he came out of retirement for. Until recently, I had been telling people offhand that it was terrible and just not enjoyable to listen to. After listening closely, however, my opinion has changed-- or at least gained more depth. You see, the first 9 tracks or so are really really well constructed. They are intimate moments with Jay-Z in his life and they tell a story. Some of them are catchy, but most are simply interesting, and show off Jay-Z's massive lyrical talents. Around track ten, though, things shift. Maybe it's the fact that Dr. Dre produces much of the latter half of the album, but they suddenly stop being so intimate and connected (both topically and musically), and begin to sound like extra tracks that they used to fill the album. They become more gangster rap sounding and lose the intricacies of the earlier tracks. They sound like a bunch of individual tracks as opposed to one continuous musical movement. So while I would now say that the album is not terrible, I would say checkout the first half of the album and then do what you will with the rest. It's mostly Jay-Z telling us that he's back...which we know....because...well...he's back.

I'm flying back East again tomorrow, so I'll try posting again on Wednesday. Hopefully nothing about airplane fiascos.

Microphone Checkers Present: King Me,
Witz