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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Witz Pickz: The Wonder Boy Review Submissions & Redemption Centers (No connection)

Alright cats and kittens (which is weird-- I always assumed that meant "ladies and gentleman" or "boys and girls", but "cats" are literally adult animals while "kittens" are children animals. So does the expression mean "adults and children" or does it mean "Guys and Girls?" Because if it means "guys and girls" but refers to the guys as adult and the girls as underage youths...well then, that expression is a little awkward.)...

...The time has come for The Wonder Boy Review to conclude it's submission gathering process for the next issue due out early October. For those of you unfamiliar, The Wonder Boy Review (or WBR) is the pseudo-literary independent magazine that I am co-creator/editor of. We have out two successful issues and are even more excited for this next one, which is looking to be even bigger and better than previous issues.

IF YOU would like to submit ANYTHING before the deadline for consideration, please do so. We are looking for PROSE, POETRY, ESSAYS (of all kinds, humor, business, etc), PHOTOS, PUZZLES, ETC...

THE DEADLINE is AUGUST 31st, but I will not actually be reading anything until I am on a plane September 5th, so for Witz Pickz readers only, if you get me something by SEPT 3rd, it will be considered. The WBR cannot compensate anyone for their accepted submissions at this time, but you will get exposure, a link back to the website or email of your choice, and the glory of being in on the ground floor of an un and coming magazine which is going to one day dominate the world and have Sudanese children telling stories of how The Wonder Boy Review delivered them from danger and provided them with interesting reading material and photos.

SO yeah, submissions wanted!

HERE'S A PICK:

Witz DOESN'T Pick: California Redemption Centers-- You know how cans say, "5 cents in ME, CT, MA, DE, CA and 10 cents in MI"? Well, I've never worried about the CA part before, but now it is relevant to my life, and I have inadvertently stumbled on a major American scam! They add 5 cents per can or bottle when you purchase sof drinks or alcohol, but then they DON'T HAVE ANY REDEMPTION CENTERS ANYWHERE! None of the local supermarkets have the redemption machines in them and when I looked up "redemption centers" nearby, there isn't one within 30 minutes of my largely populated location. They DO, however, have numerous recycling bins all over the place for you to recycle your cans-- BUT NOT GET YOUR MONEY BACK! I don't believe for a minute (the short minute, not the really long minute that people haven't seen other people in) that people drive 30 minutes to recycle cans in order to get, like, 3 bucks back, especially with the cost of gas these days. So, my question is, who gets that money? Who gets to keep the money from the cans that aren't redeamed? The state? The store? If it's the store, there's no reason why they would put a redemption machine in, but if it's the state, that seems like a lotta math and changing of money going on. SOMEONE is coming up with hundreds of dollars of extra income and I want to know who. Is there some ridiculous Suburban Mafia running this thing? Do they work for Google? Can I get in on it, because it sounds like a great gig and frankly, that's more the type of "job" I'm lookin' for. If I disappear in the next day or two mysteriously (any disappearance at this point in my life would be mysterious. People don't just disappear from watching online television all day-- I go two places: the library and the supermarket-- CRAP! Now THEY KNOW. Anyway, if I disappear, please alert somebody to this theory.

Not Makin' Any Cents,
Witz

1 comment:

EJ said...

It's a state run scam, think about it! Not only is the state keeping the extra $.05, BUT it's also charging additional sales tax because of the $.05. Scam! I'm only buying Styrofoam drinks from now on.