Witz DOESN'T Pick: McAfee Stadium, Crappy DJ Overstatement

As scattered as I've been lately, I've decided to keep it up in the posts for today...

The Oakland Athletics-- 100% Baseball:
Last night I went to McAfee Stadium AKA the Oakland Coliseum to see the Oakland A's take on the Boston Red Sox. I had been previously warned by a friend from Fremont that Oakland fans are not the nicest of fans and that they are especially aggressive to fans of other teams that visit. Well, I always take that kind of warning with a grain of salt, because I know that there are a huge number of fans of all teams and that one bad experience tends to make people generalize to all fans. When I went to LA for the ALDS last year, one Angel fan screamed at us for "Only hitting home runs," another berrated a ton of Red Sox fans for...well, everything...and one girl threw a beer at another guy and ultimately accidentally gave up the Down Low, so to speak, to everyone within eye shot (everyone was more traumatized than psyched). But do I think that ALL Angels fans are assholes? Yeah, kinda-- with their thumping sticks and their big "Make Noise" digital board telling people when to cheer. Hm.

The point is, I don't judge fans by anecdotes. Last night, however, my friend Big Ho encountered an anecdote all his own. While wandering the various stands and checking out the park during the middle innings, he was suddenly assaulted with the classic, "Go home motherfucker!" along with, "Get out of here, Boston!" He turned to the two guys shouting at him and calmly replied, "Wow, that seems a little aggressive...I'm just trying to enjoy the game," to which he met the brilliant response, "We don't play baseball here!" "But," Big Ho replied quickly and with confusion, "Your slogan is one-hundred PERCENT baseball!" he defended, pointing up at the giant sign overlooking the ballpark which proudly declared, "Oakland Athletics: 100% Baseball." Defeated, the aggressors recoiled and Big Ho continued his journey around the park.

As for the park itself, I can only say that it was aptly named McAfee Stadium. The park looks like the physical incarnation of virus software. Concrete, no character, but simply cold, hard fortress. The seats all appeared to have a great view, but otherwise, the park looked to be more suited to defend from an assault, than to provide a comfortable, aesthetic baseball experience. 1/3 of the vendor level even seemed to be lacking vendors, and turned into a long alley-like corridor of concrete and sketchy bathrooms. Walking around, we all felt like we suddenly crossed the tracks and weren't in the ballpark anymore. McAfee would be proud. Norton would be jealous. Kaspersky...is probably drinking alone and planning his attack.


Radio DJ Overstatement:
On the radio this morning I heard a DJ say that Marvin Gaye would be 69 today if he hadn't died yesterday. I'm sorry to say that I'm indifferent to his passing, but was moved emotionally when the DJ went ahead to say that the fact that Marvin Gaye died 1 day before his birthday was, "Crazy and insane!" The emotion I felt was annoyance and that fun little swelling of unnecessary rage at the world that we all feel (right?). I've heard things that are crazy and insane. A guy once told me that, "My grandma danced with bullfrogs!" and I smiled politely, wondering if there was symbolism I was missing. Crazy and insane coincidence is when the hotel elevator doors open in JAPAN and someone from your small liberal arts college in Maine is standing there looking back at you. Crazy and insane is global warming, the current US economy, 8 years of G.W.Bush, cell phone plans, the JFK Assassination, and the fact that Tyler Perry is still putting out movies. Not that a person died one day before he would have been older than he was the day before.

Keep Checkin' Back For More and Tell Your Friends,
Witz