Witz DOESN'T Pick: Dream-Insanity

I've been having some pretty insane dreams the last couple weeks. Long, extensive dreams, with lots of levels and blatant plagiarism from my reality. These suckers go on and on in dream time, which is not unusual for people, but fairly unusual for me. Here are two abbreviated examples of these dreams, and while I realize that nothing is less interesting to hear about than what didn't really happen to other people, I think if you look at them as a story, you'll enjoy yourself.

Night A:

This dream was a real treat. First, a bunch of my friends and I are hanging out for the day. My family shows up and we decide we should totally go camping at the beach. So we go to the beach and pitch some tents by the picnic tables because we're gonna sleep there. Then a bunch of homeless people show up and we realize that we've blatantly taken the "best homeless sleeping areas." We all feel a bit sheepish, but decide it's too much trouble to take down and move the tents, and besides, if the homeless people had a selected spot that they usually slept at, then they wouldn't technically be homeless, would they? So we all go to sleep.

Cut to the next night (still in the same dream, just the next night in dream time), when myself and a couple friends are for some reason hanging out at a sort of ghetto club slash warehouse in New Britain, CT. First we walk around and get a few drinks. Then I go off and have an extensive yet dull as hell conversation with some dude I don't know. While we're talking, two thugs come over and tell us they're gonna have a dunking competition. We say OK. They both start out just regular dunking, but then start to move further away. Once they get to the foul line, one of them starts putting down some absolutely amazing dunks. He flies through the air and slams down the ball and me and the dude I was talking to start exchanging looks that say, "this is pretty effing awesome!" His buddy, however, has virtually no ups, and it becomes obvious as they move further and further away that he has no chance of reaching the hoop from that distance. They keep jumping at the same time, but the one guy keeps awkwardly landing many feet from the hoop while the his friend dunks like crazy. Everyone feels too awkward to tell the guy when he asks how he did that he's far far worse, so we all smile and say they both rule.

After a while my friends and I are bored, so we all hop in the regular sized bathtub together...that is packed with ice. So we all sit in the ice bath, hanging out, drinking some drinks when violence starts to break out. People start punching each other and it appears that a gang has entered the bar and started some shit with another group. It basically descends into random one on one violence and it's impossible to tell who is a threat and who is trying to stay safe (this is definitely because I watched The Kingdom). We all make a run for the exit, but I drop my phone into the ice bath as we go. We make it to the door safely despite gunshots, knives, and fists, and I even see one guy put his hand on a guy's shoulder and stab him with a blade. "MY PHONE!" I remember as we exit and turn to run back through. And here was my dream logic: "I'll lose all my contacts." We're all screwed.

So I book back and SOMEHOW make it through all the seemingly random violence and to the tub. I grab my phone from the ice and rush back towards the exit. Right as I reach the exit, the kid with the blade jumps in front of me and our eyes meet. I am TERRIFIED. The kid puts his hand on my shoulder just as he had with the other kid and pulls out the knife. "PLEASE DON'T" I shout at him, knowing what comes next. He looks me right in the eye, and he says to me, "I wasn't gonna. I just wanted to feel you shake."
......
......
I wake up.


Night B:

This one is from last night. I don't remember nearly enough of it to paint a great picture, but here's the gist of it. My girlfriend, My Friend With A Pool, my friend J-Kow, My Russian Seeming Friend and His Girlfriend, and I are all hanging out. First we drive a school bus around, wondering what to do. Then, eventually, we reach a hill. On the hill is a weird type of grass that feels like there is loose ground underneath and that it could easily be peeled back like an orange. I proceed to have this conversation as we hike up the hill and my walking stick pokes into the grass:

ME: This ground feels creepy.
GIRLFRIEND: How so?
ME: It feels like the type of grass that snakes would live under.
GF: Oh. Are you afraid of snakes?
ME: You know I am! They really freak me out.
GF: I didn't know they bother you so much...
ME: I keep having dreams about snakes like every night and wake up as I'm getting attacked by them and can't manage to run or get away.
GF: That's scary!

I then poke the ground with my pole, a piece of grass gets torn away, and you'll never guess what? SNAKES! They hit they're freakin' dream cue! A snake pops out and slithers towards me and I start hopping around to get away. Each time I land, a new patch of grass opens up and another snake pops out. I hope frantically down the hill, but can't keep control and can't get away from the snakes. I eventually fall and roll down the hill with the snakes all around and now on me. I can't get away or run. Shocking. I wake up, both terrified and a bit confused. Yes, I had a scary snake dream, but wtf? I'm talking about my dreams in my dreams now? Have I gone that postmodern? Have my dreams run out of material and are asking itself what to do in a conversation format? Is any of that the plot to Cloverfield??? My only hope is that now that I know what's up, I can control the dream conversations and not give my subconscious any more fodder.

SUBCONSCIOUS: Witz, what are we scared of?
ME: Pizza and midgets!
SUBCONSCIOUS: Really? I thought we loved pizza and adored midgets-- who I believe go by little people or vertically challenged now...
ME: Well, you got me, Subconscious. We really fear flying and having claws like Wolverine that we use to fight crime and travel safely and efficiently like birds.
SUBCONSCIOUS: Hmm...well first of all, I don't buy it, but second of all, I'm a bit surprised that what with your attempts at revere subconscious psychology, you didn't say something about naked women.
ME: Aha! I was trying to avoid the obvious joke and overused stereotype.
SUBCONSCIOUS: That seems fair.
ME: Does it?
SUBCONSCIOUS: Welllllll.......
ME:..........
SUBCONSCIOUS:...........SNAKES!
ME: AHHHHHHHGGGG!

I'm not gonna try to analyze what my dreams mean. A lot of them are obvious from things I've been talking about or doing on a day to day basis, but a lot of it is completely insane. Feel free to offer in depth analysis in the comments section.

Dream Theater Is Not Just A Crazy Band,
Witz

P.S. There is a new post before this one as well, so make sure to read both, so you get your full dosage of posts this week!