Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Witz Pickz: Cingular Commercial, Trader Joe's Wine, Facial Integrity

Alright, I'll say it-- The Roger Clemens commercial for Cingular is funny. There. Are you happy? I'm talking, of course, about the commercial where Clemens is on the golf course with some baseball execs, and he calls his wife to ask if it's ok with her to play another season in the majors. "All you have to do is say no and I won't do it," he says, at which point the call is dropped, we see her shouting NO into the phone and ultimately Roger tells the execs, "Hey guys, she's so happy! She's speachless," which is the only painful part of the commercial. The "she's so happy" part is funny, but the speachless part is lame. Whatever. I do have a problem with these commercials in general. They show a bunch of situations where a dropped call is a problem, but we all know what a dropped call is. We can all take a look at our phones and have it say, "Call Was Lost!" and understand what that means. So I propose a commercial for cheaper phone with some dropped calls, but where the commercial goes the extra ten seconds where the person looks down at their phone and sees that the call was dropped. Then the slogan guy can say, "Verizon Wireless: We'll drop some calls, but by staying on your parents cell phone family plan, you'll save a few bucks here and there..." and I bet a lot of people nod their heads in agreement.

Trader Joe's Wine: Trader Joe's, at least on the West Coast, has an abundant selection of wine. Following along the bottom shelf, you can find very good bottles of wine for 2.99-4.99, and I don't mean Two Buck Chuck. There is a really good French Table Wine for 2.99 that was surprisingly good the other night, and a bottle called L'Authentique for 3.99, both very good. I would stay away from the Chilean cheap stuff though, as it's really dry and kinda gross overall-- that's professional wine description speak.

Facial Integrity: I'm glad our faces rebound from very basic situations. I woke up this morning with lines across my face from how I slept on my pillow and sheets, and thanks to life experience, I didn't absolutely freak out and rush to the hospital (though I freaked out a little, because you still don't expect LINES ON YOUR FACE when you look in the mirror). I remembered that my face KNOWS generally how it's supposed to look, and will slowly but surely return to that state in case of a weird sleep or a punch to the face, or a meeting with the pavement, etc. Can you imagine if our faces were maleable? Every time we touched them or fell asleep on a sofa, or got hit by a ball, our faces changed for keeps? Our visual identities constantly in flux, would definitely keep people on edge and I bet crime would skyrocket. Lemme rephrase that-- wherever I was living, crime would SKYROCKET. But extracurricular criminal activity opportunities aside, I am glad for our facial integrity, our bone structure and skin resilience. And also gnutella. That stuff is freaking delicious.

Job Interview--
Interviewer: And do you feel you have integrity?
Interviewee: I feel I have extreme FACIAL integrity....


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