Monday, November 12, 2007

Witz Pickz: Veterans's's's Day

I know you're thinking "Witz doesn't post on holidays and he certainly won't post on Veteran's Day" and I want you to know that you're assumption is absolutely correct most of the time. Today, however, I have the time and, apparently, some people DON'T get today off from work (most people? I don't know-- if the Federal Govt Employees get the day off, why shouldn't everyone else?). I think it's totally ridiculous. What if I need to mail something for my job-- that ain't happening. What if I need to have a Congressional Bill debated? Not on THIS DAY. I'm guessing banks are closed, since banks are the veritable kid in the back of the class when it comes to businesses. They have the capacity for brilliance and limitless potential, but are ultimately lazy and no one ever told them they needed to work just as hard as everyone else to get what they want. Maybe they are able to skate by on their natural talent, never truly extending themselves to make better. Fuck it-- I'm not "coming to class" on Sundays. I'm not "Going to class after 3pm on weekdays and noon on saturdays." No two are the same, but they all suffer from the same inability to establish structure that they so desperately need. So what's the point in working on a holiday when you probably can't do most of your work?

Also, FYI, it's Veteran's Day-- meaning what if YOU YOURSELF ARE A VETERAN!? Do you have to work? Is it like if for my birthday someone said, "Happy Birthday, wash my car?" Veteran's shouldn't have to work on their day, even if you do give them cupcakes so they maybe want to be there like how people with summer birthdays got screwed out of celebrating at school. Oh yeah, I'm really pumped about the "Everyone with Summer Birthdays Party." That's a freaking fun-festival for my individuality.

And aren't there parades on Veteran's Day? I remember there being some or at least I remember a lot of parades with old guys in army uniforms walking slowly down a street. Maybe I just lived in a heavily aged military community with a strong sense of healthy exercise and disdain for fossil fuels (which would be ironic). If there ARE parades and people DO have to work on Veteran's Day...does that mean there are loads of veterans walking around proudly with NOBODY watching them? I bet a lot of bugle players shed tears over that. A parade with nobody watching is just a long walk of shame, as if everyone passed out after a night of bad decisions when the wars ended and now they have to walk back home to change. Yeesh.

And what's with Veteran's Day anyway? I mean, I'm 100% behind celebrating our veterans, but how come it's called Veteran's Day and it's only for our armed forces? What about people who have been working ANY job for over like, 30 years? Shit, shouldn't all old people be given a parade for working for so long. I mean, they might not have contributed ANYTHING useful to ANYONE, but I've been out of school for only a few years, and I already can't imagine having to work for the next 30-40 years. AND I'M NOT EVEN WORKING NOW! So hey, let's expand the franchise-- let's have a day where everybody gets the day off and we celebrate old people working for a long time, except the all Federal jobs HAVE to work, banks HAVE to be open for everyone who has the day off to actually cash checks and talk about IRA's and CD's, and Congress is available for me to lobby the hell out of them. I mean, granted, half the old people will have NO IDEA what's happening, and most will probably call all of us younger folks "Lazy" for taking the day off, but hey, that'll be a part of it. Like the Groundhog coming out of his hole or fireworks on the Fourth of July. Old people grumpifying. Way more diverse than fireworks.

Consider Yourself Posted,

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