Thursday, September 13, 2007

Witz Pickz: Pop-O-Craptic Trouble

I'm in over my head. I started listening to the radio and going to parties where they play those "Hit Songs" and now I feel like I should go climb under a desk and hide from the world (also, sometimes it's just really comfortable under a desk). You see, I now have at least three pop songs that I completely am obsessed with, and I feel both shame and pride. I feel shame in that I know that I shouldn't, as a music aficianado, like and want to spread the enjoyment to others of these songs. On the other hand, I'm kind of proud that I completely believe in my opinion that these songs are catchy as all hell and not too music snobby to cast them off as crap simply because I will lose all of your respect and my street cred for liking them. So, without further ado, here they are-- Don't Judge Me People:

Rihanna - Umbrella: Oh my dear God, have you heard this song? "Ella-ella-ay-ay." Holy SHITE-- NOBODY expected umbrellas to ever be this popular and catchy, except potentially literally if turned upside down. The song (at least my version?) kicks off with a Jay-Z intro, and the Jigga Man is like the doorkeeper making it ok for me to keep listening. And then, Rihanna comes in and it's all bumpin' and shit, and all I wanna do is DANCE BABY DANCE! "Under my umbrella-ella-ay-ay-ay" COME ON! It's like the taco bell crunch taco surpreme (modern classic). Honestly, I've been so into this song that if I'm bouncing to it alone in my apartment, shades closed, door locked, headphones on, I sometimes lose myself in the soft vocal bridge and just start interpretive dancing (which is kinda what all dancing looks like when you're white and Jewish) my ass off-- let's just say there's an ipod commercial coming out with my shadow in it. So get it-- just...GET IT. "Catch the dick" as they say.

Wyclef Jean - Sweetest Girl: My friend played this Wyclef single from the upcoming November album The Carnival II (cuz he realized The Carnival 1 was his only amazing album), and warned me "it's really pop, but so catchy" and he was absolutely right. The beat is catchy, the lyrics and hooks are catchy, and OH SNAP! DID I TELL YOU IT'S FEATURING AKON?? No longer creepin' in the shadows, Akon is now on Wyclef's new hit. SICK. "I'm a tell you, like you told me, cash rules everything 'round me, singing Dolla Dolla Bills Ya'all" AHHHHH. I don't know where to get this song really, but the version I have has some "Hot" DJ giving an annoying introduction.

Matchbox 20 - How Far We've Come: I truly believed Rob Thomas was dead somewhere. If not physically, then at least mentally. Apparently, however, he's been constructing the greatest pseudo rock/pop/punk ripoff song I've heard in years. Or maybe he just thought up the idea to get a new producer. One way or the other, Rob Thomas is no longer just the executive producer of the now defunct Veronica Mars television series. He's the musician again-- and he's channeling Fall Out Boy. It still sounds like Matchbox 20 kinda, but Rob Thomas sings differently, the guitars are more basic and I think they try to do less and in doing so, they do more. There's one part in particular where the buildup and hesitation before the chorus sound EXACTLY like that one Fallout Boy hit that makes big jocks in the gym on their phone-tune-players sing "One time and one more time...etc (they don't say etc.)"-- shit, that just looks like the title of a Fallout Boy song now (see how I'm spelling Fall Out Boy two different ways? I'm tryin' em out to see which one I like). The chorus will be stuck in your head for days like it was stuck in mine and then you'll realize that Rob Thomas is kinda making the music you wish you were making and then you'll feel shamed again and find yourself under a desk wishing you had a Chipotle burrito-- unrelated. You can watch the "How Far We've Come" music video at

I Also Like Bear vs. Shark, The Blue Scholars, Parts & Labor, and The Impossibles, So Don't Judge Me,

P.S. Peep the new link on the right-- my radio show for KZSU Stanford is now up and podcasting. Follow the link to listen online or download the mp3 for your iPod or paste the link into your "Advanced" "Subscribe Podcast" box in itunes for consistent success! OR for you myspace folks, click HERE and bookmark it or add it to itunes.

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