Witz Pickz: Things Germany Got Right

Here are a few quick pickz from the ATX, land of the famous dry heat which nobody seems to think is a problem until they experience it. BUT ALSO THE LAND OF SONIC! WOOOOOOOO SONIC! COCONUT CREAM PIE SHAKES! GRILLLLLED CHEEESE SANDWHICHES!!! VANILLA CHERRY COKES-- well I guess Coke really screwed Sonic over on that front, but still-- SONNNNIIIIIIIIIIC!

Claussen Dill Pickle Spears/Halves: Going along with one of my readers' gmail chat message, these suckers are freaking GOOOOD. I don't remember exactly when I discovered them, but I know that they are the best pickles you can buy at a conventional grocery store. They aren't even in the pickle section-- they're in the refridgerator section, like with the cheeses and specialty products and meats. They pack so much crispness and flavor into them that I don't mind that they're lilke five bucks a jar. I mean, they have to pay for the refridgeration and probably pickling supplies unknown the common consumer. One of my favorite nights was in college when I (100% sober) purchased a jar of pickles and a tube of cookie dough. Sure, I got some looks from the cashier and yes, I did purchase "American Sweethearts" for five dollars to try and offset the weirdness (yeah, that didn't work), but it was one of the best feelings in the world to know that at 11pm, I could strut into a store and purchase two delectables and one embarrassable and walk out without fear of authoritative retribution (though pickles and cookie dough tend to provide retribution all on their own). If Claussen Pickles ran for President, I would seriously consider voting for them, but then probably vote for someone else-- but they'd have a shot.

Fried Zucchini/Pickles: Breaded and fried zucchini or pickles are also delicious. I found these at some German pubs as well as ski lodges and man do they taste good with some aioli dip (one of those words where one letter makes a world of difference, huh?). A lot of the times, they come with hush puppies, which are way better than the shoes would suggest-- they're fried corn meal...so they're healthy too!....right?

The Autobahn: I recently learned that a major highway in northern california was designed by the same guy who designed the autobahn in Germany. The edges incline slightly around turns so they're easier to take at full speed, etc. Only, see, it's America, so there's also, like a 60mph speed limit and TONS OF COPS. It makes no sense that they would have that guy design it, but I'm sure he, like most of us, is really disappointed by the lack of speed exhibited.

Go Big Or Go Home (you know, like, if you want),
Witz