Witz Pickz: Drive-By-Numbers -- Days Nine through Eleven (DC to New Jersey and New York)

It took me eleven days, 3600 miles, two Days Inns, not enough Sonic milkshakes, one parking ticket, more Subway sandwiches than I'm comfortable with, one extremely informed drunken conversation about nuclear proliferation, and at least twelve instances of being caught dancing to Since U Been Gone while driving-- but I made it to New York City.

To be honest, I felt like the trip was over when I made it to DC. I mean, after all that driving from Austin to DC, I was only four hours from NYC, it felt like the northeast, the territory was familiar, and the odds of being deliveranced dropped off dramatically.

Days Nine through Eleven: Washington, D.C. to Brooklyn, NY

5 - Hours spent in a DC coffeehouse waiting for my friend to get off work. With all of DC to explore and the entire afternoon to do so in, I decided to kill the day writing a post, catching up on gchat, and sitting stationary in one downtown coffeehouse. They had free wi-fi, which led to me wondering what the proper etiquette is for length of stay compared to amount purchased. I think a dollar an hour makes sense, or one product per hour, but I have no real logic behind that. In my case, since my computer and bag were not able to be seen from the counter, I bought one frolatte (frozen latte-- oh how clever will we humans get) for 3 dollars and spent the entire damn day in their establishment.

8 - The numbers of pictures I ended up with on my camera at the end of the trip.

118811 - The palindrome on my odometer that I managed to capture with my digital camera. Apparently, that's the type of cross-country driving occurrence I wanted to share with you all. BUT, do note that there are TWO palindromes in the picture occurring simultaneously-- the odometer, and the trip meter...pretttttty cooooool:


12.5 - The percentage of pictures I took of a FUCKING PALINDROME!

3 - The number of songs I got stuck in my head that probably prove I'm a sociopath. Do normal people ever just get "Ba Ba Black Sheep," "If I Had A Hammer," or, "Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo" stuck in there head for no apparent reason???

"What's your favorite musical genre?"
"Oh, mostly Nursery Rhymes and American Folk Standards..."

35 - The percentage of foliage I appreciated or at least the percent I actually believe I am capable of enjoying. I like leaves, in the fall they are pretty, and I love the feeling of the Northeast in October, but I don't think I'll ever appreciate leaves to the extent that people call them FOLIAGE. My final four hours took me through some very nice, forested areas, as well as some delightful New Jersey tolls, and I remember thinking, "Well, this is all very nice-- I should take a picture or something so other people can appreciate it," but I guess it didn't look the same backwards and forwards, so I just kept on driving...

...to New York City. Successfully. Alive.

If Reading My Blog Provided the Same Amount of Entertainment As Watching the Movie "Road Trip," Then I Think Someone Owes Me Some Money,
Witz

Witz Pickz: Drive-By-Numbers -- Day One (SF to Santa Monica)

It's official-- I've left San Francisco to drive across the country to the land of pizza, bagels, and more than likely, a combination of the two: New York City. Since I felt like making things interesting and instinctually foresaw a Donner Party death if I passed through the rockies, I decided to take a bit of a different route, which I have been referring to as the "Wrong Way, Asshole" route. Other people might call it the southern route, which is why I write this today from a cafe in San Diego after spending last night in Santa Monica, or as I call it, "The Place Where I Should Stop My Road Trop Because It's Beautiful and Fun and There's NO FUCKING WINTER EVER." Here are some stats from the first day:

Day One: SF to Santa Monica

Number of Driver's Licenses: 0
Because Life hates me (certainly not because I'm irresponsible) and because there wasn't a 100% chance that I am going to die nameless, in a ditch, on fire in West Texas (more on that later), I managed to lose my driver's license Saturday night, which was great, because it was pretty much the ONLY THING I COULDN'T AFFORD TO LOSE. Like, my car would be slightly worse, but otherwise, the thing that legally allows me to drive 3500 miles across the country the day before I am leaving to do so is number one on the list.* So, the trip already has an extra element of danger, which as we all know, only improves the plot.

Miles Driven: 385

Number of Songs on my iPod: 7155
Number of Songs I Listened To on Random Shuffle: 132
Number of Everclear Songs on My iPod: 12
Number of Everclear Songs Played on Random Shuffle: THREE. My iPod effing LOVES Everclear. Sure, they have a bunch of hits on that one album, but holy crap. I have 60 Blink-182 songs and I didn't hear a single one, but Father of Mine popped up only eight songs apart from Everything to Everyone? But you know what? It was awesome!

Number of Subway Sandwiches Eaten: 1
Number of Subway Female Bathroom Attendants That Don't Speak English Who Stayed In the Bathroom While I Peed at a Urinal: 1 -- That's a 1:1 ratio so far! I did everything in my communicative power to demonstrate my intentions and get the girl to leave for a minute, but she just smiled, nodded, said, "Ok," and pointed towards the urinals! Very few things are more awkward than standing at a urinal, with a subway bag around your wrist, a backpack on your back, and a Subway bathroom girl listening a few feet away-- but by deftly managing to not pee on my lunch and on account of the girl not leaving, this did prove my lifelong belief that I am spectacular at peeing and people both know and want to witness this fact. Either that or the girl was shocked and appalled when I actually peed with her there. I didn't stick around for a reaction.

Number of All-You-Can-Eat Sliders Consumed: 8 -- For dinner, my friend Peterageous and I found an amazing infinite sliders for 5 dollars bar. I know, I know, I should have done better, but coupled with the 2 for 1 beers, Peterageous and I went toe to toe on eight chicken sliders and called it a night. We probably would have done better if we hadn't also eaten rice that came with it and apparently was created by someone who once thought, "You know, rice is great, but you know what I wish I was eating at the EXACT same time? STRING BEANS."

That about sums up (heheh, that's, like, a road trip blog format math pun) the trip to Santa Monica. I'm sure in future posts I'll be accruing more things like, "Strands of H1N1," but for now, things are going alright.

Ya Know What Was A Stretch? Making People Spell "I Cup"...,
Witz


*This is obviously excluding necessary body parts. In this case, however, I'm referring to lost property, and although it would be both amusing and harrowing to call someone and say, "Dude, you're not gonna believe what I lost last night-- MY LEGS!" it's neither socially acceptable, nor remotely the appropriate way of spreading the news...so driver's license wins.