Friday, July 28, 2006

Witz Pickz: N'Sync Being Gay!

It's very rare that an entire generation of cruel, unbased mockery ends up with the aggressors being able to say, "I told you so," but it's finally happened. After years of taunts that, "N'Sync is GAY! N'Sync is gaaaaaay!" Lance Bass of N'Sync came out and announced that he is gay. I found this out via my girlfriend via a washington post article with the headline, "N'Sync singer Lance Bass says he is gay." At first I thought it was a joke. A The Onion article or something, but no-- as millions have been telling him for years, Lance Bass is now also saying he's gay. Now there's a chance that Lance just wants to fit in-- everybody else said it so he wanted to be part of the in crowd. Or maybe it's reverse psychology-- If Justin Timberlake starts singing, "I Want Your Back," "Bi-Bi-Bi," or, "Tearing up your--" ok we'll stop there-- then my money is on N'Sync making a reunion tour based mostly on reverse psychology. Can't you just hear all the high school jocks shouting, "N'SYNC LIKES WOMEN!!!" Which brings us to those "haters."

When I asked the millions of anti-fans who used to call N'Sync gay what they thought of Lance turning out to be gay, they took the Ozzie Guillen defense and replied, "That's cool. There's nothing wrong with that, we just kinda thought that N'Sync was whatever. We didn't mean anything bad by it."

Now that N'Sync is in fact, 1/5th gay, I can only wonder what type of wild attacks will start taking place. When throwing out random insults, stereotypes, or racial/ethnic/sexist slurs turns out to be accurate, people believe what they're saying is right. Britney Spears probably IS a redneck. Christina Aguilera a slut. The Nutty Professor-- funny! There's all sorts of terrible side effects for Lance Bass turning out to being gay. Is that Jew who you know cheap? Maybe! Does that black neighbor of yours like fried chicken? Probably! Did your hispanic co-worker steal from you? It's worth getting your local (racist) white policeman down there to check it out! Ironically, by being gay, Lance Bass might have opened Pandora's Box.

Don't Forget That Jesus Let Judas Screw Him,

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