Witz Pickz: Unemployment (Emphatically!)

"Man, being willingly unemployed must suck-- all stressed out about not having a job, not knowing where your future's headed, or what you'll do each and every morning when you wake up into your bland, lacking, miserable existence."

....NOPE! IT'S SWEET! It's been a few weeks now since quitting my job in preparation for a big location move to Northern California, and no worries readers, this Witz is completely at ease with it all! You never realize how much working sucks until you sit in rural Connecticut doing absolutely nothing, sweating profusely, bored out of your mind and think, "This is still better than working." Granted, working means income, and income means housing and health insurance, etc., but with my life savings slowly beginning to diminish, I couldn't be happier. I used to actually think during days off or pseudo-sick days that I might as well try and go into work for a few hours just to get some stuff done and not feel worthless while the rest of the world was earning and bustling-- but now I realize that was all wrong. It is totally alright to do nothing and be thrilled about it, not worrying about "wasting free time" or "not making the most out of each and every day." Ya know what's worthwhile? Watching SportsCenter so many times a day that you can call out the plays along with them when someone walks in the room. Even coming up with a single clever line that one ups the announcers makes you feel like you could be doing their job, and that's one more reason why there's no reason to get off your lazy ass to make that happen-- you're that good.

Not working also allows you to come up with crazy ideas and methodically turn them into alternative life strategies. If anyone asks me?:

"Yeah, I'm unemployed, but I have a lot going on. I'm actually planning on running a marathon sometime in the fall or early winter, so I'm going to be training for that pretty extensively. There's a 12 week pre-training program and then an 18 week training program that I have to implement, so that's good. I've also been working pretty steadily on the "Rome" season one DVD's and would love to get through all of "House" and "The Wire" if possible before the end of July. After that, I dunno, I have some "My So-Called Life" episodes that I downloaded, and, fingers crossed, those 'The Larry Sanders' show DVD's will come through on my Blockbuster Total Access 1-Month Free Trial queue. Plus, I'm actually putting out this independent magazine-- yeah, it's the third issue, should come out late summer-- uh-huh, so that's a whole project in and of itself so...I mean, to be honest, I don't see how I could possibly fit in a day job, let alone a 9 to 5-er. And that's before we get the band back together..."

I mean, see how much stuff is on my plate here sans employment? Granted, the first time I get an ear-ache I'm totally effed seeing as how I don't have healthcare. And getting my wisdom teeth out seems like a longshot currently. Those fillings will have to wait, mercury or not. But with my training for the marathon, I won't be eating as much food as I'm used to, so I'll save there, and have enough email addresses and credit cards to last me another six months of free Netflix/Blockbuster trials.

For serious, folks, I will say this; it's pretty cool that we live in a time when if you are able to save up a chunk of money through a decent amount of employment, and are single and living within your means, it is entirely possible to quit work and spend several months doing whatever you want to do, be it travel, relax, write that novel, or tour with that band you love. There is cheap health insurance to be found, car insurance that is affordable, and rent is what you make it. Thanks to the internet, we are all able to stay in touch with more people than ever before, and then take advantage of those friendships and their couches to tour the world on a budget. Granted, one day this will result in the most commitment-phobic looking resume EVER, but for a generation that values free-time over money more than ever before, that's not the worst thing in the world. After pounding through all five seasons of Six Feet Under (post pending), one thing has been made very clear and rang very true-- we're only here for so long, so if there's something that you feel you need to say or if there's something in your life that you really need to change, now's the time to do it, because we're all only here for so long. I've also learned that sometimes carpe diem translates loosely as, "Double-header on NESN."

Can't Wait To Read This Ironically In August When I Can't Find A Job, My Money Is Dwindling, And My Girlfriend Is Screaming At Me Because I Haven't Had To Wake Up and Go To Work In Three Months While She Has Had To Go To Grad School For Ten Hours Each Day,
Witz